As I Ponder

When I am weak, God is strong

Have you ever had a week where everything didn’t seem to be going right? Well, this was me the past week. It all started the beginning of the week when I somehow got an eye infection. It got so bad I had to call into work and for three days I stayed home and tried to heal. Not only was I missing work but my best friend’s wedding was coming up in a couple days, and if I still had this contagious eye infection there was a chance I could miss standing up in the wedding.

Once I thought my eye was good enough I went back to work. That morning I was driving to work early and I was casually going the speed limit. All of a sudden I could see a deer rushing across the road. I started to slow down but before I knew it was coming, a second deer jumped from my side of the car flipping over it and landed in the ditch. Shocked I stopped my car to asses the damage. Thankfully it was still drive able so I continued home glad the damage hadn’t been worse.

With my insomnia I wasn’t getting enough sleep, plus I had a lot of early morning work shifts. I found myself super excited yet a little stressed with the big wedding coming up, mixed with emotions from all the past few weekdays of craziness. I was determined that the rest of my week was going to be a lot smoother and I would try to forget all that had happened. But God wasn’t finished with me yet.

It was nearing the end of the week now and things were going pretty well actually. I drove myself to work, worked my shift, got off late again and was driving home. I remember I was listening to my favorite worship song and had it on repeat, singing along with the lyrics. I took the way I always took home thinking nothing of it. I drove a little under the speed limit this time, for some reason I don’t think it was my own. Before I had a lot of time to react I saw a deer crossing the road, I instinctively started to slow down but not enough before a second deer leaped out in front of me smashing the entire front of my car. Again I stopped the car, and tried to control myself of what just happened. The worship music was still playing in the background yet I found myself breaking. This was it. This was the point I had had enough. Why did all these things have to happen to me and now this? I started to question God and cry out “why’s”. My car was still drive able so I continued home continuing to drown in my own self pity.

As I look back on my week and consider all that has happened, God has been working on my heart and I’ve come to understand His faithfulness and goodness. Through a series of events the Lord was trying to get my attention and He finally got it. When I look back I see so many things to be grateful for, the things I hadn’t been thanking God for. Yeah I did get a painful eye infection, and the healing part wasn’t fun but I continued to pray for God to heal it and I was able to make it and be a part of my best friend’s wedding. My first car accident would be a lot of money to re-fix but it was still drive able. Yeah, I still have insomnia but I’m thankful for the ways I can learn to control it. And yeah my second car accident was my breaking point and my car might be totaled but the Lord proved to be faithful and now I won’t have to pay so much for repairs. As I reflect over the events that happened over the past week I am drawn to the reality that everything that He allowed wasn’t because He turned against me but He allowed those things to happen to get my attention and teach me of His great love and provision amidst the trials. I have been reminded of the verse in Deuteronomy 31:6

Be strong and of good courage, do not fear nor be afraid of them; for the Lord your God, He is the One who goes with you. He will not leave you or forsake you.”

One of the ways God has been working in my heart through these difficult times is that the trials that I go through sanctify me. I’m not the best at handling trials well. I can get impatient easily and the littlest of things get easily on my nerves. The trials in my life actually reveal what’s going on inside. The trials I face show how weak I am and reveal my inner sin. Once I come to realize my sin then I can let the Lord do the work in me.

My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into divers temptations; knowing this, that the trying of your faith worketh patience. But let patience have her perfect work, that you may be perfect and entire, wanting nothing.

As I go through these difficult times I have the choice to be joyful and at peace. When I have joy amidst the trials it shows others the goodness and faithfulness of God. Being joyful during hard times does not come naturally for me. I can quickly resort to self pity. The Lord has reminded me that there is nothing better in this world than Himself. He has taught me through these trials that He alone is enough.

I’m so grateful that our God is bigger and stronger than any of the difficulties we face. He is a God who never forsakes and never fails, and just when you think you’re about to break, the Lord shows up, every time, reminding you of His faithfulness which never ends. Thank God for your trials, and the burden will be turned into a blessing. If you keep your faith strong and close to your heart, the Lord will provide. When the trials come into our life, we can choose to trust ourselves, which will fail miserably or we can choose to trust God and the promise that He works all things for our good. How much sweeter it is to trust in a God who is all merciful, all gracious, abounding in love, and freely offers His grace to us.

You may fear that the Lord has passed you by, but it is not so: he who counts the stars, and calls them by their names, is in no danger of forgetting his own children. He knows your case as thoroughly as if you were the only creature he ever made, or the only saint he ever loved. Approach him and be at peace.” – Charles Spurgeon

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